OK so it seems that the Bundt pan from last time resurfaced not long after for a banana Bundt cake. Basically a banana bread-like concoction, just in a Bundt pan shape.
But who would have thought to put bananas into a ring-shaped cake? One can only imagine the insanity that led to such a creation.
Steven had been in his laboratory for two days now, subsisting on instant noodles and coffee. The deadline for the conference approaching, his research was nowhere near complete, and he needed to meet that deadline to keep his job. He had hoped that being holed up in his lab would have forced him to get more work done, but tragically, this wasn’t working out as he had hoped.
Let’s face it, put a man in front of a computer and he’ll play games on it. And so Steven had spent many hours playing the latest version of Donkey Kong Online. Here he was, a grown man, manipulating a gorilla to grunt and collect bananas. Oh but what fun it was! He could meet other gorillas, go on quests together, make contraptions with explosive barrels… the possibilities were limitless.
He had been talking to a female gorilla for some time now, and they went on several quests together. The number of bananas they had gathered together was impressive, enough to fill a Chiquita distribution center. Steven was having so much fun with his online companion that it barely registered that she was female; she was just another avatar in this virtual world, another primate running around with him on their virtual adventures.
She, on the other hand, was acutely aware that behind that big gorilla was a real man, a man with a beating heart, a life story, a need for companionship. She opened the chat box with him, taking him off guard. Steven, not wanting to be rude, engaged the female gorilla in conversation.
At first, it started off about the game, the upcoming quests, the ludicrous number of bananas they had hoarded. She gradually eased into the personal details, and eventually they came to the realization that in the physical world, they lived in the same city. Steven had never expected to find someone online whom he could possibly connect with offline. The two worlds were totally separate for him, one an escape from the other.
They made plans to meet up. She hinted that she loved bananas. Steven, being the innocent homebody he was, read zero sexual innuendo in her statement, and he thought hard about how he could please her with bananas. He did have a talent for baking that he very rarely exercised. But what could he bake with bananas? Banana bread was just so… ordinary.
He tore through his kitchen cabinets, hoping for inspiration somewhere. As he rifled through various pots and pans, he happened upon an old Bundt pan, a forgotten relic at the back of a shelf, a gift from his sweet grandmother. When he picked it up and looked into its hole, he knew this was the pan he needed to use.
Butter, sugar, eggs, all the good stuff that went into pound cake. Plus some sour cream, a trick he learned from his grandmother to keep cake moist. He mashed up some bananas that were just starting to brown, and the batter was coming together beautifully. Into the rustic Bundt pan, greased and floured, and this Steven placed in a hot oven.
Meanwhile, he got dressed. They were supposed to meet up at a local café, so it was casual, but he didn’t want to go outside in what he was wearing now, the physical manifestation of the stress of two days alone in a laboratory. He showered quickly and changed into a polo and jeans, just nice enough to make it seem like he was trying, but not nice enough to make it seem like he was trying too hard.
The cake was done, and the instant he opened the oven, the kitchen was flooded with the heavenly aroma of bananas and cake. He left the cake on the counter to cool and went out the door to meet up with the female gorilla.
They had chosen a café right down the street from his apartment, so it was an easy walk for Steven. He took a quiet table in the corner and sat down with his hot chocolate. He didn’t want to drink too much caffeine, after consuming far too many Red Bulls back in his lab. The gorilla approached, and they instantly recognized each other from the selfies they had exchanged.
Her name was Cynthia, a recent transplant from the other coast, and she worked in the area as a lab technician. Conversation meandered from commonalities in their work, their families, which quests to tackle next online, back to families, and then finally to baking. Steven casually dropped that he had just made a banana Bundt cake, and Cynthia picked that up like a cat seeing a dropped piece of salmon. She could not invite herself over for banana cake fast enough.
So here he was, bringing a pretty girl over to his apartment. As ashamed as he would be to admit it out loud, this was the first time in Steven’s life that a woman had shown this kind of interest in him, and he was growing increasingly nervous as the distance between the them and the apartment decreased. He showed no signs of his nerves, though, as he kept up his end of the conversation throughout the walk back to his apartment.
They entered, and she gasped at the sight of the banana Bundt cake on the counter. The aroma of bananas had hit her at the same time as the visual, and her love of bananas took over her brain like bees swarming around non-diet soda. He cut her a slice as quickly as he could, and she devoured it as if she hadn’t eaten in three days.
Banana cake in her mouth, Cynthia was still hungry for more, and she leapt at Steven like a lion pouncing on prey. Steven almost fell over, but steadied himself against her sudden lunge, their mouths colliding after he regained his balance.
They moved as one toward Steven’s bedroom, Cynthia guiding the less experienced one into his own bed. Their clothes came off as quickly as they sped through the easy first quest on their DK Online game, and she eagerly took Steven into her mouth. He moaned with pleasure, his penis never having experienced this kind of intimate contact with another person’s oral cavity before.
Juices were flowing, mouths moving south, and Steven instinctively pleasured Cynthia orally. Despite having no first-hand experience, it was as if he remembered the technique from a previous life, and Cynthia was soon experiencing the same pleasure she had given him.
Oral over, it was time for the real thing. Steven put on a condom he took from his nightstand, since one can never be too prepared, and slowly entered her. It was just as he had dreamed of on so many lonely nights, the warmth of her insides enveloping him, the sweet touch of her mouth against his. Cynthia, too, was enjoying this moment. As cute as she was, truthfully she hardly ever got to meet anyone worth sleeping with playing as a gorilla online. But tonight, the banana Bundt cake had done it for her.
And now, Steven was doing it for her. The tip of his penis grazed against just the right spot inside of her, and her moans increased in volume. His grunting also quickened, his thrusting becoming ever more urgent. Cynthia suddenly flipped him over so that she was on top, riding his stiff rod like a cowgirl riding a bucking bronco. She moved her hips in a circle, getting his penis to probe every depth of her. He felt it too, the gyrations sending new sensations through his body.
The moment of climax had arrived. Cynthia went first, as one hip movement caused Steven’s tip to hit her favorite spot, sending her straight over the edge. She let out a primal moan, and she felt as if she were flying high into the sky, through the apartment ceiling and into the nighttime clouds above.
The sound of her ecstasy was enough to get Steven to orgasm as well, as he shot spurt after spurt into the condom, grunting like he had never done before. The waves of pleasure seemed to last an entire minute, and he withdrew his softening penis from her, lying next to her in the bed where they had just made sweet, passionate love.
All of this over banana Bundt cake. Who knew that online bananas could lead to such things?
Well, I made this cake, but it wasn’t nearly that exciting. I got the recipe here, which is apparently from Dorie Greenspan’s Baking: From My Home to Yours (which I have yet to get!).
Banana Bundt Cake
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 ounces (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 large eggs
about 4 very ripe bananas, mashed (1 1/2 – 1 3/4 cups)
1 cup sour cream
- Preheat oven to 350F.
- Grease and flour a 12-cup Bundt pan.
- Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.
- Cream together the butter and sugar until pale and fluffy.
- Beat the vanilla into the butter mixture.
- Beat the eggs into the butter mixture, one at a time.
- Beat the mashed bananas into the butter mixture.
- Mix in half of the dry ingredients.
- Mix in the sour cream and stir until combined.
- Add the remaining half of the dry ingredients, and stir until just combined.
- Pour the batter into the greased Bundt pan and bake for 65-75 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
- Let the cake cool for 10 minutes before unmolding onto a cooling rack.
The batter. Looks a lot like regular banana bread batter, but it has more butter.
Into the Bundt pan.
Mine was done after about 70 minutes. The top got a bit burnt, because the inside was still a bit moist when I checked, even though the top was done.
I love those spiral edges.
The inside is moist like banana bread, as you might expect, except in the distinctive Bundt shape.