Green Velvet Cupcakes

Red velvet cupcakes have lately become very popular during the cupcake boom of the early 2010s, and for good reason: the chocolatey flavor combined with the tangy cream cheese frosting, along with the stunning visual of the red color is a match made in heaven.

But the historical reasons for it to be red (using beet juice when food was rationed as a way to enhance color and provide moisture) are long gone, and nowadays everyone just uses red food coloring. So why not another color? Like, say, green?

Alex had a bit of an obsession with alligators. Who knew where it actually started, maybe his first name starting with the same two letters, maybe green being his favorite color…

His room had an abundance of alligators of the plush variety, anything from a tiny keychain alligator to a giant alligator that was as long as he was tall. He was surrounded by green, soft animals that he could hug whenever he wanted. But what he really wanted was a woman in his life, a constant companion that would be more fulfilling to him than these reptile representations.

The bake sale for his company was fast approaching, and he still wasn’t sure what to do. What could he make that could be sold in small units? Cakes were hard for that. Cookies? But cookies were so boring, so pedestrian. Cupcakes? Maybe… cupcakes were so trendy now.

But what kind of cupcake? Alex loved red velvet, but he was afraid that everyone and their mother would bring red velvet cupcakes to a bake sale. What could set his cupcakes apart from the rest of the pack?

He looked around his bedroom and saw a sea of green. That was it. He would make green velvet cupcakes. He immediately started on the batter. The usual red velvet cupcake batter, with flour, cocoa powder, butter, sugar, eggs, and all that other good stuff, but with green food coloring in place of the red food coloring, naturally.

After twenty minutes in the oven, they were done, and Alex pulled out a tray of beautiful, alligator-tinged cupcakes from the oven. He could smell the delicious chocolate flavor wafting up from them.

He made a quick cream cheese frosting with some cream cheese, butter, sour cream, vanilla, and powdered sugar, and he made little mounds of frosting on top of each cupcake. Alex marveled at his creation: these round, emerald-like rocks, each topped with a perfectly round mound of snow.

The next day, at the bake sale, Alex proudly brought in the tray of his green velvet cupcakes. Nobody had seen anything like it before. Green velvet? Not red velvet? The constant questioning was starting to get to Alex.

Then a young woman approached, and the world went dark around her. It was as if a single ray of light shone upon her and her alone, and everything else was nothing in comparison. She confidently strode over to Alex, introducing herself. “I’m Alexandra,” she said, “but you can call me Alex.”

What a coincidence, he thought to himself, as he introduced himself, she noting the coincidence herself. She seemed enamored by his green cupcakes, a curiosity to others, but a fascination to her. They started talking, and although they had consumed no alcohol, there seemed to be a social lubrication in play, their conversation flowing like water through an open canal. He was soon invited over to her place after the bake sale, something he never thought would have happened when he woke up yesterday morning without an idea in the world about what to even make for the bake sale.

The bake sale couldn’t end fast enough. Male Alex caught up with female Alex, and she gave him directions to his house, which he eagerly followed. She met him at the door and guided him inside, allowing him to see the neat interior of her house. But he couldn’t help but notice that she had random plush lizards scattered about. His heart quickened at the sight. Could it be, a fellow reptile enthusiast?

“So do you like lizards?” he asked casually.

“Like them? I love lizards, they’re so cute!” she exclaimed.

“You know this is totally weird but… I love alligators!” he admitted out loud for the first time in years.

“No way, alligators are so cute too!”

They chatted for an hour about alligators and lizards. This was probably the only place on earth where this conversation could possibly happen, and it was happening. They inched closer on the couch they were sitting on, until their thighs were touching each other.

Alex and Alex felt an animal magnetism between them, one that drew their lips together in one long, passionate kiss. “Do you want to go to my room?” offered female Alex, male Alex following closely behind as he wordlessly agreed.

As they got to their room, she suddenly pulled out her phone and said, “Maybe you think this is kinda weird but… do you mind if my friend joins us?”

He was surprised by her question, but, entranced by her room and the thought of her clothes possibly coming off at some point later in the day, he managed a “Sure.”

She quickly called her friend and invited him over, after which she immediately started making out with him again. He was puzzled, knowing that her friend was about to arrive at any moment, but enjoyed the tongue down his throat nonetheless. His hands were exploring the area around her breasts when the doorbell rang.

Alex sprang up to get the door, leaving the guy on her bed. She quickly came back with a tall, handsome Asian man, who introduced himself as Nick. “So Alex…,” started the girl, “I think you’re really attractive.”

“I think you are too,” replied Alex. His eye kept shifting towards Nick, standing in the room with them.

“Let me just put it bluntly. I want to have sex with you. But I want Nick to be involved too. Are you cool with that?”

Alex was shocked at this turn of events. He had no intention of even having sex when he woke up today, and here he was, in a beautiful girl’s room, along with a beautiful man. Let’s face it, Alex was open to exploration. He acted like he was hesitant in his reply, but in his mind he was as eager as a hyena pouncing on wounded prey.

They started, the Alexes undressing each other, Nick taking off his shirt, revealing the chiseled body he had underneath. The two started making out while Nick unbuckled his belt. The lone girl in the mix was down to her panties, Alex wearing only boxers with an obvious tent. Nick was soon down to his underwear as well, and the three of them, wearing only one garment each, lay down on the bed together, Nick joining in on the kissing action, first kissing the girl, then kissing the guy, giving Alex his first taste of what it was like to kiss another man. The slight scratchiness on his face was a new sensation, something new and exciting to him.

Their respective underwear soon came off, and Alex rolled around with Alex, back to heterosexual kissing once again. Juices were flowing, and Alex moved his mouth to her vagina, his tongue darting inside like a dog finding shelter in the rain. She moaned with delight, her hands grasping the back of his head while the tongue touched parts inside of her that hadn’t been touched in quite some time. Nick, meanwhile, took Alex’s penis in his mouth, causing him to grunt with pleasure, that feeling of warmth and moisture around his penis that he had not experienced in the near past.

The motions of Alex’s tongue and Nick’s mouth increased in speed, fluids flowing faster than ever before. They were need of a position change, and so they decided they would go all the way. Alex inserted his penis into Alex’s vagina, her fluids allowing for incredibly easy insertion. Nick, meanwhile, lubed up his rock-hard erection and entered female Alex from behind. They thrust together in unison, male Alex holding Nick’s buttocks. The feeling of his hands on his butt, along with the thought of their penises within inches of each other inside of Alex was enough to make him climax.

He went first, unleashing a torrent inside of Alex. His primal moan was enough to then cause female Alex to climax as well, sending waves of pleasure throughout her body. This, in turn, caused a chain reaction, Nick feeling the spasms of Alex’s body around his penis, causing him to shoot his load inside of Alex as well.

The three of them collapsed next to each other on Alex’s bed, out of breath from their hot encounter. And to think, all he had this morning were green velvet cupcakes.

OK well I actually made these for a baby shower, and nothing even close to something like that happened. I basically took a standard red velvet cupcake recipe and replaced the red food coloring with green.

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Green Velvet Cupcakes

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
1 ounce green food coloring
2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, softened
2 tablespoons sour cream
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 (16 ounce) box confectioners’ sugar

  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Mix together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt.
  3. Beat the butter and sugar together until combined.
  4. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, until combined.
  5. Add the sour cream, milk, food coloring, and vanilla extract, and mix until combined.
  6. Add the flour mixture into the batter gradually, mixing until just blended.
  7. Line a muffin tin with paper liners.
  8. Spoon the batter into 30 muffin cups, filling each until 2/3 full.
  9. Bake for about 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
  10. Make the frosting by beating together the cream cheese, butter, sour cream, and vanilla extract until smooth.
  11. Gradually add in the confectioners’ sugar, beating until smooth.
  12. After the cupcakes have cooled completely, frost them with the cream cheese frosting.

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The beautiful green batter.

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I made mini cupcakes, so I put the batter into a mini-cupcake pan, with no liners.

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They were done after 12 minutes because they were miniatures.

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It makes lots of little cupcakes. Unfortunately, I always seem to lose some corners in the pan, no matter how diligently I grease the cups.

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And then the frosting goes on top. In varying amounts.

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The only thing that’s different is the food coloring, which doesn’t differ in flavor, so they do have that same wonderful taste of regular red velvet cupcakes, the chocolate flavor with the tang of cream cheese.

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Banana Bundt Cake

OK so it seems that the Bundt pan from last time resurfaced not long after for a banana Bundt cake. Basically a banana bread-like concoction, just in a Bundt pan shape.

But who would have thought to put bananas into a ring-shaped cake? One can only imagine the insanity that led to such a creation.

Steven had been in his laboratory for two days now, subsisting on instant noodles and coffee. The deadline for the conference approaching, his research was nowhere near complete, and he needed to meet that deadline to keep his job. He had hoped that being holed up in his lab would have forced him to get more work done, but tragically, this wasn’t working out as he had hoped.

Let’s face it, put a man in front of a computer and he’ll play games on it. And so Steven had spent many hours playing the latest version of Donkey Kong Online. Here he was, a grown man, manipulating a gorilla to grunt and collect bananas. Oh but what fun it was! He could meet other gorillas, go on quests together, make contraptions with explosive barrels… the possibilities were limitless.

He had been talking to a female gorilla for some time now, and they went on several quests together. The number of bananas they had gathered together was impressive, enough to fill a Chiquita distribution center. Steven was having so much fun with his online companion that it barely registered that she was female; she was just another avatar in this virtual world, another primate running around with him on their virtual adventures.

She, on the other hand, was acutely aware that behind that big gorilla was a real man, a man with a beating heart, a life story, a need for companionship. She opened the chat box with him, taking him off guard. Steven, not wanting to be rude, engaged the female gorilla in conversation.

At first, it started off about the game, the upcoming quests, the ludicrous number of bananas they had hoarded. She gradually eased into the personal details, and eventually they came to the realization that in the physical world, they lived in the same city. Steven had never expected to find someone online whom he could possibly connect with offline. The two worlds were totally separate for him, one an escape from the other.

They made plans to meet up. She hinted that she loved bananas. Steven, being the innocent homebody he was, read zero sexual innuendo in her statement, and he thought hard about how he could please her with bananas. He did have a talent for baking that he very rarely exercised. But what could he bake with bananas? Banana bread was just so… ordinary.

He tore through his kitchen cabinets, hoping for inspiration somewhere. As he rifled through various pots and pans, he happened upon an old Bundt pan, a forgotten relic at the back of a shelf, a gift from his sweet grandmother. When he picked it up and looked into its hole, he knew this was the pan he needed to use.

Butter, sugar, eggs, all the good stuff that went into pound cake. Plus some sour cream, a trick he learned from his grandmother to keep cake moist. He mashed up some bananas that were just starting to brown, and the batter was coming together beautifully. Into the rustic Bundt pan, greased and floured, and this Steven placed in a hot oven.

Meanwhile, he got dressed. They were supposed to meet up at a local café, so it was casual, but he didn’t want to go outside in what he was wearing now, the physical manifestation of the stress of two days alone in a laboratory. He showered quickly and changed into a polo and jeans, just nice enough to make it seem like he was trying, but not nice enough to make it seem like he was trying too hard.

The cake was done, and the instant he opened the oven, the kitchen was flooded with the heavenly aroma of bananas and cake. He left the cake on the counter to cool and went out the door to meet up with the female gorilla.

They had chosen a café right down the street from his apartment, so it was an easy walk for Steven. He took a quiet table in the corner and sat down with his hot chocolate. He didn’t want to drink too much caffeine, after consuming far too many Red Bulls back in his lab. The gorilla approached, and they instantly recognized each other from the selfies they had exchanged.

Her name was Cynthia, a recent transplant from the other coast, and she worked in the area as a lab technician. Conversation meandered from commonalities in their work, their families, which quests to tackle next online, back to families, and then finally to baking. Steven casually dropped that he had just made a banana Bundt cake, and Cynthia picked that up like a cat seeing a dropped piece of salmon. She could not invite herself over for banana cake fast enough.

So here he was, bringing a pretty girl over to his apartment. As ashamed as he would be to admit it out loud, this was the first time in Steven’s life that a woman had shown this kind of interest in him, and he was growing increasingly nervous as the distance between the them and the apartment decreased. He showed no signs of his nerves, though, as he kept up his end of the conversation throughout the walk back to his apartment.

They entered, and she gasped at the sight of the banana Bundt cake on the counter. The aroma of bananas had hit her at the same time as the visual, and her love of bananas took over her brain like bees swarming around non-diet soda. He cut her a slice as quickly as he could, and she devoured it as if she hadn’t eaten in three days.

Banana cake in her mouth, Cynthia was still hungry for more, and she leapt at Steven like a lion pouncing on prey. Steven almost fell over, but steadied himself against her sudden lunge, their mouths colliding after he regained his balance.

They moved as one toward Steven’s bedroom, Cynthia guiding the less experienced one into his own bed. Their clothes came off as quickly as they sped through the easy first quest on their DK Online game, and she eagerly took Steven into her mouth. He moaned with pleasure, his penis never having experienced this kind of intimate contact with another person’s oral cavity before.

Juices were flowing, mouths moving south, and Steven instinctively pleasured Cynthia orally. Despite having no first-hand experience, it was as if he remembered the technique from a previous life, and Cynthia was soon experiencing the same pleasure she had given him.

Oral over, it was time for the real thing. Steven put on a condom he took from his nightstand, since one can never be too prepared, and slowly entered her. It was just as he had dreamed of on so many lonely nights, the warmth of her insides enveloping him, the sweet touch of her mouth against his. Cynthia, too, was enjoying this moment. As cute as she was, truthfully she hardly ever got to meet anyone worth sleeping with playing as a gorilla online. But tonight, the banana Bundt cake had done it for her.

And now, Steven was doing it for her. The tip of his penis grazed against just the right spot inside of her, and her moans increased in volume. His grunting also quickened, his thrusting becoming ever more urgent. Cynthia suddenly flipped him over so that she was on top, riding his stiff rod like a cowgirl riding a bucking bronco. She moved her hips in a circle, getting his penis to probe every depth of her. He felt it too, the gyrations sending new sensations through his body.

The moment of climax had arrived. Cynthia went first, as one hip movement caused Steven’s tip to hit her favorite spot, sending her straight over the edge. She let out a primal moan, and she felt as if she were flying high into the sky, through the apartment ceiling and into the nighttime clouds above.

The sound of her ecstasy was enough to get Steven to orgasm as well, as he shot spurt after spurt into the condom, grunting like he had never done before. The waves of pleasure seemed to last an entire minute, and he withdrew his softening penis from her, lying next to her in the bed where they had just made sweet, passionate love.

All of this over banana Bundt cake. Who knew that online bananas could lead to such things?

Well, I made this cake, but it wasn’t nearly that exciting. I got the recipe here, which is apparently from Dorie Greenspan’s Baking: From My Home to Yours (which I have yet to get!).

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Banana Bundt Cake

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 ounces (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 large eggs
about 4 very ripe bananas, mashed (1 1/2 – 1 3/4 cups)
1 cup sour cream

  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Grease and flour a 12-cup Bundt pan.
  3. Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.
  4. Cream together the butter and sugar until pale and fluffy.
  5. Beat the vanilla into the butter mixture.
  6. Beat the eggs into the butter mixture, one at a time.
  7. Beat the mashed bananas into the butter mixture.
  8. Mix in half of the dry ingredients.
  9. Mix in the sour cream and stir until combined.
  10. Add the remaining half of the dry ingredients, and stir until just combined.
  11. Pour the batter into the greased Bundt pan and bake for 65-75 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
  12. Let the cake cool for 10 minutes before unmolding onto a cooling rack.

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The batter. Looks a lot like regular banana bread batter, but it has more butter.

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Into the Bundt pan.

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Mine was done after about 70 minutes. The top got a bit burnt, because the inside was still a bit moist when I checked, even though the top was done.

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I love those spiral edges.

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The inside is moist like banana bread, as you might expect, except in the distinctive Bundt shape.

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Blueberry Bundt Cake

I know I’ve mentioned the Bundt pan I like the look of before (apparently, it comes in “blossom” and “cathedral” shapes, too). So I decided to make a blueberry Bundt cake. OK, so this was almost two years ago, since I’m so behind on posts. Sorry, no origin story this time. Probably similar to how the orange Bundt cake or the caramel apple Bundt cake came about. But you know, with blueberries, instead of oranges or apples.

This recipe is from About.com, strangely.

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Blueberry Bundt Cake

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) butter, softened
1 2/3 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
8 ounces sour cream
2 cups blueberries

  1. Preheat the oven to 350F.
  2. Grease and flour a 10- to 12-cup Bundt pan.
  3. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl, and set aside.
  4. Cream the butter and sugar together in a different bowl until light and fluffy.
  5. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, into the butter and sugar mixture.
  6. Beat in the vanilla extract into the butter and sugar mixture.
  7. Alternate adding the flour mixture and the sour cream into the butter and sugar mixture, beating after every addition.
  8. Fold in the blueberries once the batter is blended.
  9. Bake in the Bundt pan for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

My actual experience baking this was a bit of a disaster, though…

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The batter. This part went smoothly enough. Basically a pound cake batter, but with blueberries.

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And the batter goes into the Bundt pan. So far, so good.

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And then, disaster. Only partway through did I realize that my oven was set to broil, instead of bake. I never use the broil setting, so I don’t know how this happened.

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But by using a serrated knife and trimming the top off, I managed to sort of save it.

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And then flipped over, there’s hardly any evidence of my gigantic blunder at all.

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Closeup of the middle. I love the spiral ridges.

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Strawberry Mochi Cake

After making blueberry mochi cake, my next thought was, why not try another fruit? Strawberries seemed like a good idea. Tart and sweet, just like blueberries, with that distinctive bright red color.

But who would have thought to put rice flour into a cake? The traditional, Japanese texture of mochi, combined with the Western taste of butter and cake. How would that magical combination have even happened?

Kevin was in a pickle. He had signed up to bake something for the annual Japanese-American Festival in town, and he had been tasked with creating something distinctly Japanese-American. This would be easy, he had originally thought. Something Japanese, inspired by his grandparents. Something American, something from the land where he was born and raised.

Or so he thought. It turned out that this task was harder than he had anticipated. He thought he could just throw some green tea in for the Japanese part, some apple pie-like filling in for the American part, but that was playing way too much into stereotypes, not to mention how bad it tasted.

Fretting over the looming deadline wasn’t doing much for his creativity, so Kevin took a stroll out into Japantown, hoping for some inspiration. He turned a corner and ran straight into someone. They were both knocked backwards by the impact, and as Kevin started to think of a choice phrase to utter, he looked up to see a cute girl in front of him, and all of his anger melted away like ice under a blow dryer.

“I’m so sorry!” the girl said, sheepishly looking down at her feet.

“Oh no no, it’s my fault,” Kevin stammered, totally distracted by the cute brown eyes of the Asian girl before him. “I’m Kevin, by the way,” he said, with an intense desire to know her name.

“Jennifer,” she replied, extending her hand to his. As their palms touched, Kevin could swear he felt a hint of a spark between them.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jennifer, and sorry about bumping into you,” Kevin said. “Can I buy you a coffee?”

“Oh no really don’t worry about it,” she replied, as Kevin’s face sank. Noticing his disappointment, she quickly said, “But I would love to get some bubble tea or something, I’m so thirsty!”

Kevin didn’t have much of a poker face, an obvious grin spreading throughout his face. “Great, I love bubble tea too! My favorite place is just around the corner…”

He somehow managed to be the perfect gentleman during their little boba date. He opened the door for her, he paid for her drink, he laughed at the right moments, he showed just the right amount of confidence. He was winning Jennifer over as quickly as Obama won the black vote in his state.

The Japanese-American Festival came up in conversation, and Kevin related his troubles in coming up with an appropriate baked good.

“You know, I’ve always loved mochi,” said Jennifer, whose parents were Chinese. “My parents sometimes bought some at the Japanese market when I was younger, and I love that chewy texture.”

“Mochi is something my mom makes sometimes, and I love it too!” Kevin said excitedly. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before, but maybe mochi is something I could put in my baked item…”

The wheels were turning in Kevin’s head. Meanwhile, Jennifer’s eyes grew wider, and her mouth wetter as she thought about mochi. “Maybe I could come over and help you bake something!” she blurted out.

Kevin was caught by surprise. He didn’t even imagine he could get this cute girl before him into his house by date three, and here she was, offering to come over. She looked slightly embarrassed by her outburst, but appeared to have no intention of taking it back.

“I would love it if you could help me,” Kevin said coolly, not wanting to give away the giddy enthusiasm brewing within. They took their tea to go, walking the short distance back to Kevin’s apartment.

“It’s a little messy…” Kevin said sheepishly, as he opened the door to let Jennifer in.

“Oh not at all! My apartment’s just like this,” Jennifer said, telling a small lie. “Now let’s get to the kitchen.” Kevin loved a woman who took charge like that.

They looked through the fridge together, combing for possible ingredients to combine with the mochi. Sticks of butter beckoned Kevin. “Cake? Just a regular cake? With mochi instead of flour?”

“That just might work!” Jennifer was excited by Kevin’s sudden inspiration. “Mmm, butter and mochi, I can taste it now…”

They started making a batter. The usual good stuff that goes into cake: butter, sugar, eggs. Except instead of regular flour, they added rice flour, which is the foundation for mochi. The batter went into a baking pan and then into the oven.

Kevin, ever the gentleman, offered Jennifer a drink. It was getting dark, so a cocktail felt appropriate. He whipped up his signature lychee martini that never failed to impress. It worked like a charm. “This is the most delicious cocktail I’ve ever had!” she swooned.

Pouring himself one as well, they both quickly got through their cocktails, delicious as they were. Inhibitions lowered, they talked about what seemed like everything: first kisses, exes, crushes. They started on adjacent cushions on the couch, and by the time they got to talking about their first sexual experiences, they were cuddling together.

But just as it was getting hot, the oven timer went off like an annoying parent butting in on a child’s date. Neither of them was willing to let perfectly good cake go to waste just for the sake of making out, though, so they rushed over to the kitchen to pull out their creation. The kitchen was flooded with the heavenly aroma of butter and sugar. Poking at the cake yielded a delightfully spongy texture that only mochi could provide.

Kevin turned out the cake onto a cooling rack before cutting into it. They both took a small rectangle out of the cake and popped it into their mouths. Smiles spread across their two mouths simultaneously, as four eyes opened wide with pleasure. The richness from the butter, combined with the chewiness of the mochi, was a combination from heaven.

Arousing the taste buds often causes sexual arousal in human beings, and the two human beings enjoying the mochi cake were no exception. They leapt at each other like feral foxes in heat, lips meeting in the middle shortly before tongues started to furiously joust with each other.

Amidst their fervent kissing, they somehow managed to make their way to Kevin’s bed, where he gently placed Jennifer on her back, simultaneously removing her top. She returned the favor, removing Kevin’s shirt, revealing a toned upper body that displayed no hint of the amount of baked goods he consumed.

Her bra was next to go, and Kevin enjoyed the sight of Jennifer’s perky and perfectly-sized breasts. Jennifer, feeling self-conscious with Kevin’s eyes staring directly at her exposed chest, quickly reached for his belt buckle and took off his belt in one swift motion. She undid the button and zipper of his jeans and yanked them off, uncovering a tent in his boxers. She was flattered by his arousal.

Kevin’s turn was next, removing Jennifer’s pants. She was afraid her moistness would show through her panties, but thankfully, the cotton hid it well. Her hand went into his boxers, gripping his manhood, eliciting a moan from Kevin. Without hesitation, he reached into her panties and inserted two of his fingers into her sex. She could feel his fingers rubbing against her clitoris, causing her to feel even more moisture developing down there.

They could hardly wait to get the remaining article of clothing off of each of their bodies, and so they did, and they continued to passionately kiss, unencumbered by human garments. Their fluids were coating their nether regions; penetration was imminent.

Kevin inserted his penis into her vagina, sliding it in effortlessly thanks to all of their natural lubrication. They simultaneously moaned, and Kevin started thrusting deeper and deeper into Jennifer.

The tip of his penis was grazing the sweet spot, and Jennifer’s eyes rolled further backwards into her head, overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure emanating inside of her. Kevin himself was getting wetter and wetter with each thrust, her vagina enveloping his penis in a cloud of warmth and wetness.

The thrusting increased in intensity and frequency, sweat glistening on both of their bodies. Like a volcano nearing its eruption, Kevin was nearing his climax, his moans getting louder by the second. He soon released a torrent of semen right into Jennifer, extraordinary pleasure erupting from his penis and spreading throughout his whole body.

The pulsation and ejaculation inside of her were enough to send Jennifer over the edge as well, as she let out a primitive scream in the midst of the most extreme ecstasy her body had ever experienced. She nearly lost consciousness from the orgasm, her head snapping back from the shock.

Kevin pulled out of Jennifer and lay next to her, both of them sweating and out of breath. Their warm bodies cuddling against each other, they were both so incredibly happy, happy that they had made such sweet love, happy that they had created an amazing confection together.

Gosh well my mochi-making experience wasn’t nearly as intense, but here’s a recipe for strawberry mochi cake, which is basically identical to the one for blueberry mochi cake.

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Strawberry Mochi Cake

1 cup butter, melted
2 cups sugar
1 (12 ounce) can evaporated milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 eggs
1 (1 pound) box mochiko
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup diced strawberries

  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Mix the melted butter and sugar together until well-blended.
  3. Add the evaporated milk and vanilla, and mix until combined.
  4. Add the eggs, and mix until combined.
  5. Add the mochiko and baking powder, and mix until combined.
  6. Fold the diced strawberries into the batter.
  7. Pour the batter into a greased 9×13 baking pan.
  8. Bake at 350F for about an hour, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
  9. Let cool in the pan before turning out the cake and cutting into pieces.

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The batter. Just like the blueberry mochi cake, everything in one bowl. Very simple.

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The batter gets poured into a 9×13 pan.

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Nice and golden brown after 50 minutes.

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And then cut into small squares. Or rectangles.

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The strawberries somehow didn’t work as well as the blueberries. Perhaps they were too watery. Or too tart. Still a delicious mochi cake, but I preferred the blueberry version.

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Blueberry Mochi Cake

So apparently I’m way behind on my baking posts, since the recipe I’m posting today I first made over a year and a half ago. Since then, it seems it’s become my go-to recipe for gatherings, since it’s so easy to make and also such a crowd-pleaser.

This uses mochiko, or rice flour, which you can find in a lot of places, even Walmart. As a bonus, since it uses rice flour instead of regular flour, it’s gluten-free. Though not dairy-free, since there’s evaporated milk and a healthy dose of butter.

No origin story this time. Maybe next time for strawberry mochi cake.

I got the recipe here, though other versions also exist on the web.

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Blueberry Mochi Cake

1 cup butter, melted
2 cups sugar
1 (12 ounce) can evaporated milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 eggs
1 (1 pound) box mochiko
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup blueberries

  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Mix the melted butter and sugar together until well-blended.
  3. Add the evaporated milk and vanilla, and mix until combined.
  4. Add the eggs, and mix until combined.
  5. Add the mochiko and baking powder, and mix until combined.
  6. Fold the blueberries into the batter.
  7. Pour the batter into a greased 9×13 baking pan.
  8. Bake at 350F for about an hour, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
  9. Let cool in the pan before turning out the cake and cutting into pieces.

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The batter. I love this recipe because you just mix everything together, very simple.

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The batter poured into a 9×13 pan.

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Mine was done after 50 minutes. I neglected to take a picture of it before cutting it up, but here it is in 48 unequal pieces.

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I like this mochi cake a lot because it has a nice chewy texture from the mochiko, along with the buttery taste of cake and the tart flavor of blueberries.

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Orange Bundt Cake

Over a year and a half ago, I bought myself a new Bundt pan because I loved the way it looked. Maybe it was the winter weather, but I also seemed to be in the mood for citrus.

So I happened upon this recipe for orange Bundt cake and gave it a try. But who even thought of making an orange-flavored cake with a hole through it?

Fred adored his orange farm. Ever since he was a child, his parents had been grooming him to take over the family business. Rows upon rows of beautiful orange trees dotted his expansive farm. Now it was all his. All he needed was a woman to complete his life.

But let’s face it: Fred’s life, aside from working his farm, was a series of drunken nights at bars, hanging out with his group of boys. Not exactly the kind of thing where he could meet a good, quality woman to settle down with.

One day, as he was browsing the produce at the local grocery store, he happened upon the most beautiful woman he had seen in recent times, a slender, blond woman with fair skin and beautiful eyes. Fred’s knees weakened a little as he reached over to an orange close to her, just to have an excuse to be near her. Who was he kidding, though? The oranges on his farm were far better than any of the junk they sold here at the grocery store.

“Are you into oranges?” asked Fred, halfway between an honest attempt at conversation and a clumsy pickup line.

“Oh I love eating oranges!” said the woman, far more enthusiastically than Fred had ever expected her to be. “Do you know a lot about them?”

“Do I? I have a whole farm full of them!”

“No way! I’m Clara, by the way. I’ve been dreaming about making some delicious dessert. Maybe with some oranges.”

“I’m Fred. Well, if you’re interested, you can come try some fresh oranges from my farm. It’s just down the street,” Fred said, as he gestured toward his house.

Clara agreed readily. This was way too easy. A beautiful girl, into the crop he grew, willing to come over to his house within a minute of meeting?

They arrived at his house, where Clara immediately started talking about what to bake. She seemed keen on an orange cake. A soft, spongy cake with an orange glaze, perhaps. She started rooting through his kitchen cabinets. Tragically, Fred did not have a regular cake pan. He did, however, have a Bundt pan with a hole in the middle.

“You have a Bundt pan, but not a regular cake pan?” Clara asked, puzzled.

“That was my mom’s. She loved Bundt cake. I always looked forward to her pound cake during the holidays,” Fred said wistfully.

“OK, this will do!” Clara said excitedly, as she threw together a cake batter of butter, sugar, flour, eggs, and some orange zest from some oranges Fred had on the counter. “These oranges will make a yummy glaze!” she chirped.

Right after she poured the batter into the pan and then put the pan in the oven, she set about making the glaze, from orange juice she squeezed from the oranges she zested, along with some more orange zest and powdered sugar. Clara declared all there was to do was wait, so she joined Fred on the couch.

They immediately sat very close to each other, so close that not holding hands would have felt unnatural. Her head was soon on his shoulder, as they watched the latest made-for-TV romantic movie that happened to be playing on Lifetime.

The music swelled, the tears started flowing, and the timer went off. Clara sprang up and removed the cake from the oven, perfectly golden brown. After letting it rest for a few minutes while the movie finished up and the tragic characters all died, she turned it out onto a plate, and then drizzled the glaze on top. The aroma of oranges was heavenly. Their mouths watered like the eyes of the movie characters who lost their loved ones.

Clara cut two slices, and they both tried her newest creation. The bright flavors of orange exploded in their mouths, their eyes lighting up like Christmas trees. “This is delicious Clara!” exclaimed Fred, cake still visible in his mouth.

For whatever reason, this orange cake made them both want to jump on each other. Their mouths met first, lips locking and tongues immediately exploring the innermost recesses of the other person’s mouth.

Their bodies moved together over to the nearby bedroom, clothes stripping off so effortlessly it was as if they were meant to be removed. Their kissing now frantic, their hands traveled downward, touching each other’s genitals with a familiarity that seemed impossible between two strangers.

As their hands stroked their respective parts, their natural lubrication flowed forth like water from a broken dam. Their hands glided effortlessly over skin, their juices reducing the friction to an afterthought.

Penetration was imminent. Fred guided his penis into Clara’s vagina like a heat-seeking missile homing in on its target. She had never had a man enter her with such ease, such effortlessness. His thrusting immediately started, as did Clara’s moaning.

The tip of his member was grazing her spot with just the right pressure, teasing her with unbelievable pleasure. Fred’s moans grew louder as well, with his thrusting increasing in speed to match.

The pressure had built up to the maximum, and both were ready to let go. Fred went first, releasing spurt after spurt of warm semen inside of Clara. The flow of hot fluid deep into her sex was enough for Clara to reach her own climax. She let out a loud, long moan while Fred was still inside of her.

Fred withdrew his penis from Clara, and they both collapsed on the bed, incredibly content from their afternoon of baking a delightful orange treat and amazing sex that no doubt was a result of that culinary creation.

Sadly, my experience making this cake was not nearly as exciting, but here’s the recipe.

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Orange Bundt Cake

3 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/3 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs
1 tablespoon fresh orange zest
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup freshly squeezed orange juice

Orange Glaze
2 tablespoons fresh orange juice
1 teaspoon orange zest
1 cup confectioners’ sugar

  1. Preheat the oven to 350F, and grease and flour a 10- to 12-cup Bundt pan.
  2. Whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl, and set aside.
  3. Cream the softened butter and sugar together until light and fluffy.
  4. Add the vegetable oil and mix until combined.
  5. Add the eggs, one at a time, until combined.
  6. Add the orange zest and vanilla extract, and stir until combined.
  7. Stir a third of the flour mixture into the butter mixture.
  8. Add half of the orange juice and stir.
  9. Stir in another third of the flour mixture, and then the rest of the orange juice.
  10. Stir in the remainder of the flour mixture and mix until just combined.
  11. Pour the batter into the Bundt pan and bake for 40-45 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean.
  12. Let the cake rest for 15 minutes in the pan before turning it out onto a wire rack.
  13. Make the glaze by whisking together the orange juice, orange zest, and confectioners’ sugar.
  14. Drizzle the glaze onto the cake after it cools.

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The batter after everything is mixed together.

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The batter goes into the Bundt pan.

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And the cake is done after 40 minutes in the oven.

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My Bundt pan has the cool spiral ridges.

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The glaze, with only three ingredients.

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The cake with the glaze drizzled over the top. It seemed to run down the ridges and onto my counter, however.

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The orange juice and zest gave this cake a strong orange flavor, and the orange juice and oil gave it a nice moist texture.

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Honey Cookies

I love the taste of honey. I often put it on bread, or drizzle it into tea. But can you imagine it in a cookie? A round, soft cookie, full of buttery goodness, also with the taste of honey? And how would such a confection have come about? One can only imagine…

Robin loved her bees like they were her children. Maybe not each of the individually, since there were hundreds of them, all of them indistinguishable, but as a group, her bees were like a child to her. She talked to them. She sang to them. She worried about them when she was away.

The honey she collected from them was like a syrup from heaven. Nobody knew how her bees produced such delicious honey. Some said it was the flowers she planted nearby. Some said it was the love and attention she showered upon them.

One day, as she rode her bicycle into town, she came across a handsome young man walking along the side of the street. The street sloped upward, slowing Robin down, giving her ample time to check out his firm but voluminous ass from behind. He turned around when he heard her bicycle approaching, and he moved to the side a bit to let her by.

He seemed friendly enough, so Robin said hi to him. He smiled right back and introduced himself as Michael. His eyes were piercing, and Robin felt like an icicle had stabbed her through the heart when he directed his blue gaze at him. An icicle that melted into a warm bath that flooded her heart.

They casually chatted about what they were doing. Robin was heading to town to pick up some groceries. Michael was going to catch up with a friend for lunch. He was careful to clarify that this was a male friend, no romantic interest at all, just an old friend he hadn’t seen in a while. The more words they exchanged, the smaller the distance between them became. They could smell each other’s scents, see each other’s pulses.

Michael made it very obvious that he was free in the afternoon after lunch, and Robin made it very obvious that he was welcome to come over in the afternoon. The grocery shopping couldn’t end fast enough. She didn’t even bother sniffing the fruit before she threw it into her basket. She was like the Tasmanian Devil ripping through the store, picking up a whirlwind of groceries.

After flying home on her bike at record-breaking speed, she threw all of her groceries into the appropriate places and thought about what to present the beautiful man that was coming over later. She couldn’t, after all, receive a handsome visitor like Michael with nothing prepared, could she?

The bees were at full swarm today, buzzing around with renewed fervor. It was as if they knew about Robin’s visitor, and they were just as excited as she was. Then it came to her. She would use her delicious honey in a baked item. But what? It was already fairly late in the afternoon, so she didn’t have time to make something elaborate.

Cookies! They were simple enough to whip up quickly, yet they would be delicious with the taste of honey. Robin made a simple cookie dough, but with honey in place of sugar. She rolled balls of dough onto a baking sheet and popped them into the oven. Just as she had closed the oven door, the doorbell rang.

Michael appeared before her, carrying a bottle of mead. Her favorite! It was a drink made from fermenting honey with water, after all. How could he have known? What a perceptive man he was!

She led him into her living room, excited by this new visitor. He inquired about the wonderful smell; she replied there was a surprise that would be ready in a few minutes. She brought out some glasses, and he poured mead into them.

As they sipped the mead together, the conversation flew between them like bees flying between flower and hive. It seemed like only an instant before the kitchen timer went off. Robin leapt up to remove the cookies from the oven. The kitchen was filled with a heavenly aroma of butter and honey when she opened the oven door. The smell from the cookies seemed to pull Michael straight out of his seat and into the kitchen, right next to Robin.

She picked up one of the warm cookies and popped it into Michael’s mouth. His eyes lit up as if he had seen pornography for the first time in his life. He seemed consumed with ecstasy, his mind swimming in pleasure and honey. She, too, tried one, and she understood his reaction. The rich, sweet taste of honey, combined with the soft, buttery goodness of the cookie was a match made in heaven, melting into sweet nothingness in her mouth.

Whatever this was, this was about as close to heaven as she could get. Delicious cookies in her mouth, delicious man by her side. She wanted him inside of her. Now.

Robin dragged Michael to her bedroom, carrying a squeeze bottle with her honey in it. She had a feeling that they might want a sweet treat while they were in there. Michael seemed surprised by her. This sweet, innocent-seeming girl who just baked cookies for her, taking him into her bedroom, her innermost sanctuary. His momentary hesitation in potentially corrupting this girl was immediately blown away when she threw her lips onto his.

With surprising strength, Robin wrestled Michael onto her bed. Seemingly consumed with desire, she ripped his shirt off with the ferocity of a jackal, her tongue attacking his nipples like a lioness devouring her prey. Michael liked this change from his usual routine. He liked that she was taking charge, unlike those passive girls he usually dated.

The belt was next to go, Robin deftly removing it as if she undid belt buckles as an occupation. He was tenting in his boxers, and she loved the sight of that. She undid her top and her pants, quickly stripping down to her panties. She rubbed her crotch against his, eliciting a moan from him as she slowly brushed her vagina against his penis.

Those last pieces of clothing needed to come off now, and so they did. His throbbing erection stood close to her engorged vagina, already wet from all the friction she had produced when they still had their underwear on. She grabbed the honey bottle and squirted the delicious honey all over his penis. Her mission now was to lick all of it off.

And so Robin engulfed his entire member in her mouth, her lips reaching the base of his shaft. Michael groaned with pleasure, feeling the suction she was creating in her quest to remove that nectar slathered all over his dick. His eyes rolled into the back of his neck as the head of his penis reached the back of her throat, sending intense feelings of pleasure all over his shaft.

After what seemed like an eternity spent in heaven, Robin removed her mouth from his penis, her mission of licking off all of the honey accomplished. She still wanted more of him, though, and she quickly mounted him, shoving his penis into her now-dripping vagina faster than a cowgirl could mount a horse. Gyrating her hips in a circular motion, she could hit all the right spots inside of her, simultaneously providing Michael with an amazing sensation that was different from the honey-sucking session that just happened.

The circular gyrations soon turned to thrusting, the head of his penis reaching the elusive spot in her vagina on every bounce. Her moans were getting louder, as were his, as the pace of the thrusting gradually increased. Her fluids were at peak production, literally running down his penis as the thrusting continued.

The point of no return came, as their moans had reached a crescendo. He went first, shooting a large load deep into the recesses of her vagina. The pulsations of his penis and the force of the semen shooting inside of her were enough to take her over the edge as well, and she let out a primal moan, her vagina throbbing from her orgasm. She had never reached this level of ecstasy before.

Michael withdrew from her, and they both lay on their backs, completely spent. Robin smiled in satisfaction, knowing that her magical honey had brought them this special moment together.

I got this recipe from Allrecipes.com, where they’re called “Old German Honey Cookies.” What makes them old and German, I’m not sure, but they were good. I changed the shortening to butter because, well, I like butter.

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Honey Cookies

1 cup white sugar
1 cup butter
1 cup honey
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground ginger
4 cups all-purpose flour

  1. Preheat oven to 350F.
  2. Beat together the sugar, butter, and honey.
  3. Add the eggs and vanilla and beat until mixed.
  4. Add the baking soda and ground ginger, and stir until mixed.
  5. Add the flour and stir until just mixed.
  6. Drop teaspoonfuls of the cookie dough onto cookie sheets, spaced about two inches apart.
  7. Bake the cookies at 350F until golden, about 10 to 12 minutes.
  8. Cool the cookies on a rack.

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The dough. Looks like normal sugar cookie dough, but there’s honey in it.

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Then the dough gets rolled into little balls.

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Mine were done after about 10 minutes.

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The cookies are small, so this recipe makes quite a few of them.

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I thought these tasted more like ginger than honey, despite there being only one teaspoon of the former but a whole cup of the latter. Next time, I’d use less ginger, and maybe a bit more honey, or one with a stronger flavor.

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Peanut Butter Cookies

Peanut butter often brings to mind jelly, as they’re inextricably linked in the classic American sandwich. Or perhaps you think of celery, slathering it onto the hard green stalks as a condiment to make that bitter vegetable taste more palatable.

But peanut butter can fly solo, too. In a cookie, even. But who would have thought of such a thing to begin with, to tear apart the marriage of peanut butter and jelly and put the nuttier half in a cookie? And why do peanut butter cookies always have those fork marks on them?

Sally started preparing lunch for the kids. At thirteen and ten, they were just at that age where it was uncool to bring your lunch to school, but with work hard to come by and her deadbeat husband Ed out of the picture, money was tight, and she just couldn’t afford to have her kids buy lunch at the school cafeteria. And so she dutifully packed them their lunches, sacrificing their social status for financial security.

After she had finished making their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and packed them into their bags, she said goodbye as they were picked up by their carpool, and once again Sally found herself alone at home. She enjoyed the quiet time during the day when she had the house to herself, and yet she longed for the company of a man, someone who could make her life complete in a way that Ed never could.

The sink was acting up again. She called the plumber, who said that he’d be there very soon. Sally had just used up the last of her jelly in making the kids’ sandwiches that morning. But the giant jar of peanut butter was still half full. What ever would she do with it?

When Sally was married, her husband enjoyed her chocolate chip cookies. Despite his emotional absence and his oddly cold and detached demeanor during sex, she still really enjoyed being able to make him happy in that small way, when she handed him a warm chocolate chip cookie straight from the oven.

With that memory in her mind, she knew just the way to use up her peanut butter and lift her out of the doldrums. She could make peanut butter cookies! All the memories of making her ex-husband happy, minus the cold sex.

She went about mixing the dough. Flour, baking powder, salt, butter, vanilla, sugar, egg, and of course, peanut butter. The peanut butter gave the dough a nice, rich texture that she could almost taste before the cookies had even baked. She rolled little balls of dough and placed them on the baking sheet. They seemed a bit too tall, though. Looking around the kitchen, she grabbed a fork because it was the closest utensil to her, and she pressed down on each cookie, creating a crosshatch design on the tops.

Right when she popped them in the oven, the door rang. She closed the oven door and opened the front one, letting the plumber in to fix her broken sink. He was a handsome man, younger than she was expecting. None of the dirtiness that she had stereotypically associated with plumbers; here was a nice, well-kept man who would fit right in at her children’s school’s PTA meeting.

His name was Andrew, and he lived not too far away. He in fact had two kids of his own, sharing joint custody with his ex-wife. Sally was intrigued by this man. He deftly whipped out a wrench from his very neat tool belt, and seemingly within seconds, the sink was fixed. Sally nearly gasped with delight.

Just as her almost-gasp came out, the kitchen timer went off. She grabbed an oven mitt and pulled out the peanut butter cookies. They were golden brown and smelled wonderful, the rich aroma of butter and sugar combined with the unmistakably nutty peanut butter smell.

“What is that?” Andrew asked, intrigued. Sally eagerly offered him a cookie, which he practically inhaled. His eyes lit up like a slot machine paying out a jackpot. Sensing his excitement somehow caused Sally to get a bit excited herself, and she felt moisture between her legs that she hadn’t felt in years.

She offered him a glass of milk, and he didn’t hesitate to agree. His next appointment was over an hour away, so they enjoyed their peanut butter cookies and milk together. They drifted over to the couch, where they talked about their kids, their crazy ex-spouses, the origins of the universe, why the ketchup never came out of the bottle, until they found themselves right next to each other, their faces only inches apart.

Their lips smacked together like a magnet and a hunk of metal, and Sally and Andrew soon found themselves in a horizontal position, making out like the teenagers their kids would soon be. Hands explored underneath shirts, fingers stroked crucial spots, and soon arms were lifting garments off of shoulders.

Their bare chests rubbed against each other, their tongues continuing to explore each other’s mouths. Belt buckles were the next item to be undone, and pants slid off of their lower halves like wrappers off of chocolate bars. Sally’s wetness and Andrew’s hardness were evident in their underwear like a raging fire in a nighttime forest.

Mouths still locked together, two swift movements were all it took to remove their remaining clothes, and Andrew’s penis couldn’t go into Sally’s wet vagina fast enough. Like a bullet train through a tunnel, it entered her sex smoothly, and the back-and-forth motion immediately started, guttural moans escaping their mouths simultaneously.

Sally liked to take charge, so after a couple of minutes of Andrew thrusting on top of her, she flipped him on his back, sitting on his throbbing erection. He loved the sight of her bouncing up and down on his cock, her breasts swinging wildly like coconuts caught in a hurricane.

It was Andrew’s turn to be back on top, and he flipped her over with such vigor that she almost fell off of the couch. The deep thrusts immediately started, and Sally could feel Andrew’s member reaching deep into her, brushing up against that spot that very few men could reach, the Everest between her legs.

They were approaching their respective climaxes. Their breathing quickened, synchronized and increasingly audible. Andrew went first. He pulled out his penis and moaned a primal moan that millennia of civilization could never take away, shooting his massive load right between Sally’s breasts. This sight was enough to push Sally over the edge, too, and she moaned, her vagina contracting violently, her body feeling like it was launching into the air.

They collapsed next to each other, breathing heavily like marathoners finishing a race. Sally smiled, having had an experience she could have never had with that deadbeat ex-husband of hers. And all because of these magical peanut butter cookies. This recipe was a keeper.

The recipe is roughly this one, plus some molasses and honey. I halved the recipe to make about two dozen cookies.

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Peanut Butter Cookies

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup golden brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons molasses
1/2 tablespoon honey
1 large egg

  1. Preheat the oven to 350F.
  2. Mix the flour, baking powder, and salt together in a bowl.
  3. Beat the softened butter, peanut butter, and vanilla extract together until well-mixed.
  4. Beat in the brown sugar and white sugar until well-mixed.
  5. Add the molasses and honey and stir to combine.
  6. Add half of the dry ingredients into the mixture and stir until just mixed.
  7. Add the egg and stir until mixed.
  8. Add in the remaining dry ingredients, stirring until just mixed.
  9. Roll heaping tablespoons of dough into balls and arrange them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  10. Flatten the dough balls with the back of the fork, forming a crosshatch design.
  11. Bake the cookies for about 14 minutes, or until they are golden brown.
  12. Cool the cookies on a cooling rack.

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The dough. Creamy.

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The balls of dough, flattened with a fork to make the distinctive peanut butter cookie pattern.

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After 14 minutes, they’re done.

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They turned out a bit dark.

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The middle of the cookie was nice and chewy, but the outside was a bit too crisp for my taste. Maybe 12 minutes next time instead of 14.

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200

It took me 1131 days, but I have finally written 200 posts. Well, not that all of them were very substantial, mind you. Some of them were just like “oh look here’s a random deal I found” or “oh here’s a random thought about something sexual.” I mean, not that I would ever write anything like that.

It’s sadly the truth, though, that my post frequency has dropped off over time. As a lapsed statistics major, I cannot help but insert a graph here.

posts-per-month

Yes, nowadays I only post once or twice a month, if even that. I suppose that there’s a certain amount of fatigue that sets in after writing so many words. But I still enjoy it from time to time, of course, or else I would not keep this blog running.

Well, at the current rate, it will take me another ten years or so to write 200 more posts, so hopefully nobody was actually waiting for that day to come!

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Bisexual

u·ni·sex adjective of, designed, or suitable for both sexes; not distinguishing between male and female; undifferentiated as to sex: unisex clothes.

I have long been puzzled by this word, “unisex.” The prefix uni- means “one”: unilateral, unicameral, etc. So you would think that “unisex” means it’s for one sex. Not two. And yet, the word is supposed to mean “for both genders.”

I have often referred to names like Jamie or Taylor that can be used for both genders as being bisexual. The prefix bi- means “two.” The names are for two genders. Therefore, it seems completely appropriate, right? And yet people keep correcting me. “You mean unisex,” they say, and I say, “no, I mean it’s for both genders, so it’s bisexual.”

But, to be fair, many people don’t identify their gender as male or female, so perhaps it’s a bit exclusionary to say bisexual. Perhaps we should say omnisexual or pansexual. Or even multisexual.

Regardless, I think it’s time we stop using the confusing word “unisex.” It’s just plain misleading.

Think about it. Next time you’re using your multisexual bathroom at home.

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